PTL!!! Jason is saved ~!!

haha..juz met up w Kin Wee juz now..haha..tis sheep of mine made my day man..his frenz juz came to noe God yesterday thur' personal means..tt means he said e prayers himself..i'm juz so amazed..i truly rejoice!! not so much tt i want to claim credit being his shepherd but e fact tt someone crosses e line n know God personally! Wow! it's great!! i'm juz so encouraged by Kin Wee, by tis bro's desire to bring his frenz to know God and faithfulness..i can learn so much from him..

before tt i was quite stressed man which timothy was telling me last nite..actually when i heard from meiyan tt i'd still be invol. in tis wk's cg..i was like asking: "me again?" On top of my mind was e 3 sw reports tt i got to hand up n 2 tests next wk n the big one coming up..wat am i doing here? watching "MAria full of grace" and juz walking around w e bros..I must say i enjoy e time..it's so rare to spend such time together..but do feel a bit not focused..haha..on my way back, was absorbed, keep on thinking whether should i juz throw in e towel n take a break for 1 mth until e exams r over..but in my heart was juz reminded tt i should grow in tis area of time n stress management..if ben,zewei etc can do it..i should be able to as well..working next time w'd be much worse..may as well learn it now..hahhai'm reminded what Alan shared oso..e need to be faithful to God's calling..starting from e small things he entrusted to us..He who is entrusted w something must prove himself to be faithful..Amen..i want to respond..

I guess i'm still veri conscientious abt my studies even after these yrs since sec1 until now..when last time i wanted to excel so tt pple w'd not look down upon me n my family though we r e poorest among all our relatives..want to show them me n my sis can make it to uni! we did! by God's grace..when i was so filled w hatred towards my P5/6 form teacher..suspected tt i forged signature for a consent form when i didn't even do it..

Now i must say i'm not so driven compared to in e past..though i noe God gave me a place and opportunity to be in uni..it's not by my own ability but by his grace..seriously..i dun 've e right to claim credit for my results n 've no reason not to do well..to excel..no reason to not to do so..which is a qn tt's burning in me all tis while..i did my best in sem1..3.6..when i was serving as a CL..sem 2 I was juz so unfaithful..haiz..find it so hard to motivate myself..still tinking tt it's impossible/i'm not gd enough/got 'C's before/i've enough/easily affected by wat pple said..I want to put a stop man..no more such tots..it's not helping me anyway..

i'm reminded oso e consequences of not putting in enough efforts for studies..wat's next? stress!..n last min help n prayers..dun think tt God wants me to do..if i can't even manage myself n studies, how can i lead other pple to do so? it's quite hard man though e heart comes first still..it's quite hard for pple to respect u if they noe tt u been failing/or juz pass yr tests/skip tut..God, give me a humble heart to learn n get out of my comfort zone..if Benglee can juz easily trust God..why can't I do e same? haha..but i'm glad tt God put us in e same family for a reason..haha..

Still..i must say i not veri close to most of our unit bros n sis..i used to be quite anti-social/quiet/shy/ -ve/serious guy in e past though now still quite a bit oso at times..I was juz so struck when God surfaced tis area of my life during QT last wk..Do I love His pple becos' I love Him first or do I love them becos' I have to ? It seems veri easy to answer tis qn at first glance but i find it difficult to answer honestly..even 4 yrs as a Christian liao..God surfaced e areas tt i've not been submitting to him which as a result I find it hard to even spend time w pple around, talking w them n difficult to sustain e love..esp. when the crutch comes..thank God for tis revelation though it's not e first time..must reali do sthg!

Want to thank God for all e leaders in our district..pple like alan,wenjiang,zewei etc among e many..reali amazed how God used them n still use them as they have e heart to serve Him..reali encouraged by my shepherd how he's chosen among many to 've a place in e national youth forum camp..wow..not so much e prestige but his willingness to learn n grow so tt he can ctd to lead us effectively..n be used by God to witness his love and goodness to the president,ministers etc..wow..it's veri amazing tt God has his ways of using pple though he might not join any cca but gave his whole heart n time for e ministy..wow..I want to learn from tis bro's life..to testify for Christ in such public settings-speak persuasively,boldly n w wisdom--tt's my life calling..to be equipped w all e necessary social work skills so tt can bring in more genY pple of varying past historys to come into e Kingdom..n to teach e Word in Word-for-life classes..so tt many generations down the road can ctd to learn n grow in His understanding..No time to waste man..my life is yrs to use, Lord..Cya at e end which is coming soon! : ) i'm looking forward to yr return..