memories

was juz reflecting for a while..veri soon i'd grad no matter how i do in e upcoming exams..w'd be one of e many countless graduates in e streets..haha..my degree is juz a normal one..i am oso an ordinary Chinese guy, looks studious n decent..have e science look-reserved n normal..ya lo..compared myself w any other guy, prob w'd lose out quite a bit..at least he w'd have sent his resume, gone for many interviews..joined some clubs in sch-involved in projects..experienced hall life n other aspects of a typical life centered around worldly values n passions like achievements,many unique life experiences n e list goes on..

but tink God convicts in my heart juz now as i came across e verse in Matt 6:19-21 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth n rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." i was reminded how God refined tis truth in my heart despite juz finished ord some 3 yrs back..was a big struggle for me..prob my carnal self at work-desired a lot of worldly success in my jc days..even when i served then, can't help but want to compare w ppl around..

yr1-was not in nus gp yet..in pre-tertiary then..trying to pioneer cg in all e East jcs..had to work to have e money for myself and ministry..topped up tissue papers at vending machines in smrt toilets incl ladies oso..haha..not easy money to earn..felt tempted so many times to quit and juz be active in sch activities..did not see a lot of fruit in ministry at dat time

yr2-things got better when i moved on to nus gp..not initially..struggled to go to hq, feels dat cannot connect w ppl..but God convicted me during church camp..e need to put e past behind and move on ahead w him..thank God for e renewal..pioneered e arts ground together w robert n weizhu..saw some fruit man..tink tt time our cg filled e whole one row in nexus auditorium..all brothers mind you..amazing..i started to capture e impt n urgency of saving souls..rewarding to see them cross e line..want to help ppl experience dat..experienced his grace oso when he helped me get my best results in sem3 n take care of my finances

yet i lost quite a bit of focus..tot tt evangelism was e only key impt thing..got self-absorbed n proud..tot dat i had it all success in ministry n studies as well..but thank God for his work in me..he brought me back to him after receviing my worst results right after getting my best results..brought out my weaknesses during e attachment..mediocre..i started to understand abt myself..have a true sense of where i stand..in e midst of giving it all in e bid to save our uni ministry..i discover abt God all again..a fresh perspective abt salvation,identity in him with better understanding n a more attentive heart to hear..

yr3-needless to say..i discovered tt i am a piece of a jigsaw puzzle in e whole scheme of things..contributing in my own way extending the kingdom of God..feels sad when hears tt ppl want to go for internship during e holidays..not saying it's wrong in dat sense..but how much is dat value of a 3-mth work experience compared to serving a great God n be used by Him despite a sinner to populate His kingdom..priceless, money can't buy dat..no other thing can brings tis much satisfaction..i went thru dat phase of being tested and tempted..worked for a mth during e holidays during end-yr1..mundane,feels alone,void and deprived of fellowship..always look forward to after work..haha..

i came to realise n begininng to believe more n more..at e end, it's ppl, our souls who'd last into eternity..not our cca credentials,talents,wealth no wonder Paul is so sure abt it tt he considers them as rubbish as he look to Jesus..things change when He is in our heart..thank God for dat..where yr treasure is, there yr heart w'd be..