thoughts..

Finally woke up from my slumber..dun know how to describe it man..think I was basically preoccupied thinking of finding a job,relationships,personal development..can’t reali see I was reali dry when I was in it..dun feel much abt outreaching..such a basic thing but yet struggle to have the burden..despite being zealous in the past..

Reali detest my heart at times..how it can so easily wander off..how I can so easily give in to sins..yet want to please God, be blameless..desire after His character..it is such a true thing when God says about the need to cleanse and renew ourselves in him and by His Word daily..tis is something that takes conscious effort on myself to walk with His Spirit outside church setting..there is reali a difference between believing n walking or running with the Lord..no one is looking at me, who am I? God will purify and test me no matter how much I play church..how true it is..when He says..even young men stumble and fall..i experienced that..battling with displeasing thoughts throughout the day,relying on human wisdom,not relevation from God but they will walk and not stumble..run and not faint..soar on eagles’ wings..it is in Him i experience victory,grace and cleaned..able to move on

Was quite anxious about the need to find a job..when I looked around my cg..prob only me,kin wee,Robert and sijia yet to be employed..most of the unit people are already working..i need to be more proactive..not just sit there and expect doors to be opened..He says..knock and it will be opened..not pray and He will open for you..yet at the same time..enjoyed the ‘break’ as well..hmm..2 mths? haha

Managed to catch two plays last wk..the walls and mobile..must say an eye-opener for an amateur art patron like me..i feel as if I were transported to a new world..experiencing what the performers feel,behave though it was just a few props and dialogue that they utilized..i was quite impressed by ‘mobile’ how they just used two port container boxes for the many scenes..wow..inside,the sides,even the top of the container is used..for a scene at the sea...two characters standing on top.supposed to imply that they are in the boat inside..blue lighting came on and used to portray as the sea in turn at the background..

Well, my training regime continues..achieved my breakthrough of the first hour mark in non-stop running when I finished watching the brazil match against croatia..then off I went for my run..reali thank God for the world cup..the matches’ timing: 12-2,3-5..fits in nicely with my training..the sun can be avoided and I can enjoy the morning fresh air..perfect man..haha..ran to punggol end and back to compass point..1hr15mins..around there ba..cycled oso on fri at east coast..abt 10km..it’s quite fast cycling compared to running..prepared for the nus triathlon but no money..haha..well, we should see how..

Tink I am quite prepared to give up the triathlon if it means more money channeled towards sowing,ministry..but I am taking it as a chance to develop myself further and give glory to God oso as I train and can cause myself to be more relevant to working people..want to know new people which I struggle a lot, feel so comfortable in holy huddle..the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few..

Tot of the new life station also..veri new and challenging..seems that people have started work and made a mark for themselves..attached and courting and prepare towards marriage..convictions and beliefs about themselves and of the world are more or less fixed..how to make the gospel relevant for them? How do I prepare myself, to be trained..not even talking about making an impact in the marketplace ‘cos I dun think I am ready..wor..of course it varies for people..prob bros n sis who are employed by government will be safer at the veri least though they have their challenges..another group could be contented with they have like myself..the fellowship n church life and hardly engage with the world, prob breeds complacency and inertia..we can still choose the former but what will Jesus think about this?

Hmm..no straightforward answer..think for me, I most prob will be a heartlander for many years to come, spending most of my time serving the needs of my local community-hougang..social worker directly or indirectly..paying off my study loan..pioneering new ways of doing ministry and leading caregroups..being a voice for those in distress..tink ppl having mental sickness will rise due to urbanized and hectic living..reflecting these views to the authorities..making an impact starts from no one but myself and one person at a time quoting from the charcter-ngo activist from mobile play..
Maybe I will plant church and do humanitarian work..after I get married prob around 30..we will see how..Christ might have come back liao..tink it is veri important to live purposefully in His plan..be veri careful how we live, not acting thoughtlessly but try to understand what the Lord wants us to do..sums it all..

In the meantime..it’s world cup,triathlon,convo,sowing,discipleship and get a job till end-jul..lead me Lord as your servant runs with you..