in between

time flies man..today is oredi the last day of august..enjoyed the half-marathon..tot it was better than stan chart in some ways..at least the route was different..i experienced how it was like running up the sheares bridge, went to east coast,bras basah and chinatown..i was not in the perfect conditon to run man..esp working the day before..and had not much of a rest..but thx God for His grace..managed to at least finish it running, not walking like i did e first time round..was humbled oso..tot i could improve much on my timing but haha..was not to be e case esp when i reached e 10k mark..oh man..felt a strong urge to walk..but wa la..there was e refreshment station w all e wet sponge,isotonic drink and cheering..ctd to persevere on..must say the isotonic drink helped me quite a bit man..at least i would run a bit and drink..hmm..not sure i drinking or running though..

tink it was many 'firsts' for many of e bros n sis..like jacky and benaiah..their first in finishing the marathon and clocked quite gd timings..even heard from nus bros n sis..many of them their first in attempting to finish running esp not doing so for a long time..thank God! stan chart w'd be next for me esp trying e full one..tink it's possible not juz w faith but oso w a bit of training..run slow but steady..we shall see

glad and encouraged many of my social work peers had started working..kaiqi,angeline,guopeng n even huichun and jason had oso found their ideal jobs..well..as for me, still applying man..do feel quite disheartened no reply from ssc..prob dun tink i stand a chance..was reali struggling for e past few days.no energy to do anything else..sianz-troubled-disappointed..all kinds of -ve emotions but a gd testing period for me..

can't help but be reminded by Julian's sharing during e church planting session..watever dat u go thru here can be a training ground for church planting next time..small things like waiting for God's providence..he said train yourself to live a lifestyle of trusting in Him..not some outbursts..it does make sense to me..if tis short period of testing can't even go thru, let alone living in a foreign land where things are not so systematically planned out for u like spore govt does for us-take care everything literally from birth to grave..is there a govt elsewhere which does tis? encourage n give u money to have babies,forward looking,not complacent,competent..thx God..

prob life here has been too much of a comfort for me..u grow up being taught wat is best for u n wat u should excel in..who wants to opt for instability like church planting/starting a biz..there r risks man..u can easily opt for predictability,8-5 job,stable..other than dat..did enjoy myself bringing all those pri sch students around..went to labrador,zoo,chinatown,botanic gardens,airport..prob never been to tis places so often all my life..e money is not bad but can be monotonous doing e same thing again..met some children who r so teachable..their heart is set to learning and asking questions..

ministry i am more settled down though a lot more i can do..was struck by wat Alan shared abt e early church model and how we can emulate and see it in reality for our unit..was encouraged and envious when he was talking abt his cg or e few bros n sis who had sticked w him all these yrs..ppl like his sheeps..how they had gone out of their way to help him succeed even financially as well..somehow i see a more personal Alan since moving on..didnt see him dat way previously prob less contact time n proximity..likewise for zewei..in some sense, glad dat i had moved on..where things r not so structured or events-driven like in uni..nothing wrong in dat sense..but prob things are allowed to develop more naturally though at e same time more uncertainty as well..

hmm..tinking abt it..needs a lot of faith for me..so many areas need to trust in Him-career,finance,relationships etc third rd of applying for jobs! training for e 3rd dec marathon as well..alright man..let's go! =)