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so glad man..finally my assignment is done..haha..have been a big struggle for me man since last mon..did not think abt it until sat i think..slowly tries to pen down bit by bit..but most of e time ended up procrastinating man..haha..but still do bit by bit..at least one burden is lifted up..

kinda thinking of my future also these few days..not sure exactly i will end up doing..i oso dun want to think abt it..it's pretty fast tt i'd grad next yr..not exactly expecting tt but guess social work might not be wat i want to pursue after all..not sure man..but it' s a gd thing also tt it's coming..not totally sad or affected by it..but reali imagine when i go over to adults gp..juz have to pay off my bank loans for 2 yrs only..if i work hard enough..i could prob be church planting in no time..4 yrs time..tt's great man..reali look forward to tt..but money is one big thing tt i've to start thinking and planning abt if i reali want to go..maybe work in sales line..can earn a lot man..or get into some company tt have overseas links..tt'd be gd also..hmm..

yet at e same time, i am also burdened for e ministry here..reali hope to see the brothers grow and be united as a whole..kinda concerned for some bros' spiritual condition..not tt i can do much, but whatever i can i want to show my care to them man..yet i continue to believe tt there's great potential for our gp to grow..reali..i see a lot of hope in the yr1 freshmen and sis who have just joined us from youth..prob wat i should do is to invest more time in building relationships with as many bros as possible..i juz hope and pray tt we'd see e harvest by end-aug..can reali take away the pressure and burden and start focusing on building the group up..

realised a lot abt myself these few days of sluggishness ba..feel quite 'fan' but one truth tt hits me was when zewei shared tt though we fall at times but God's grace is still sufficient..he'd sustain n renew us..there's always
2nd chance to pick myself up again..yeah man..this is a great truth for me personally..reali feel lousy man by my attachment's results and evaluation..how come there are so many weaknesses tt i need to grow in? it brought back memories how i was reali down when i was in jc and bmt..some of my lowest points..when i did not get e girl i want/poor results..n how blurred spider i was in bmt..haha..can reali laugh at myself man when i think back..i am not being cynical here man but glad and fortunate tt God picked me up thru' those times..when i feel e most lousy,depressed and unvalued..reali..He is always faithful man...thru' all these yrs..coming to 5 yrs..i know for sure He'd restore me again..and i will by his grace..if not for him, i'd prob be depressed or in another world by now..someone who is veri ordinary,dirty,lousy,quiet but yet i am a child of God..wow..how can i ever thank Him for tt man..reali..nthg can take tis truth away man..i guess it's true when i am down,low then i am able to experience God even more..i thank you Lord for tt..just use me man tis last yr for yr glory..though i am weak, i will be strong in You!! yeah!