running forward

Thank God for helping me and the other bros and sis to finish the marathon. It was not easy including me as well. I was enjoying myself e 1st 14km but find it difficult for the remaining 7km. I walked literally. In me was the frustration that “I could not even run non-stop and the tot of other ppl catching up with me..can run fast initially but cannot finish”..haha..these were some tots that went through my mind..i got low morale..what if I finish the race 3 hours plus..oh man if I juz keep on walking..

Then I was reminded that it is not for myself that I am running at least not totally..i juz want to give my best and leave the rest to God..surely I dun have to be too hard on myself isn’t it? That’s where I got the right perspective and keep on walking regardless of what is going around me at that time..give my best even in walking..

I think this probably describes how I am going to spend my holidays and last semester. I was quite heavy heartened when alan shared to us on mon that there will be many who are moving in 1st week of may..oh gosh..it struck me that most likely I am one of those..that is a moment of silence as to what I have been doing these 2 and ½ years in nus..do admit that I do have a lot of struggles that went through me because my relationship with God had been rather weak yet I experienced also how he picked me up time and time again..

What inspires me to finish the race was a vision that God impressed upon me during march of this year, I was on my way to school and just saw myself running up to God who is waiting at the end of the steep slope. I fell countless times yet he encouraged me every time not to give up and keep on persevering..i will not forget that..though Christmas is coming, we need to sow..it is also personal for me as I am reminded and get reflective of what Christ has done for me all the while..

Yet in my heart I want to really make my life count for him..i am not joking man..no time to play also..these holidays will be nothing much of relaxation..there will be still but I want to spend it fruitfully..

Some goals I have set:
> sowing! And invest time building up my sheeps and brothers in my unit
> train for biathlon in feb
> read and finish the following books: commentary on book of Ephesians, Winning with people, Lord of the Flies and Max Lucado’s “No wonder they call him savior”
> revise some of my social work modules esp, urban youth work and counseling theories
> if got time carry on learning bahasa Indonesia, theatre studies and learn IT course
Never really try pushing myself too far but if I dun do it then when? After graduation? Will not want to be struggling like when I was during my attachment..lose its saltiness-dun noe how to relate/cannot communicate well w ppl outside church/ dun noe e norms of working w non-christians..i cannot risk that..God, please help me..though first time I am doing something like that but as the leaders have been sharing, make it count man whenever time that is remaining..

Hope that Derek is doing fine also..his exams are coming soon I suppose..jia you bro will be praying for you..first time taking exams as a Christian student..will be interesting..trust in Him ya! Jia you