26th feb

so tired..just came back from Fu Sem but it was refreshing man..to re-learn some of e FU modules tt i was taught previously..actuali dun noe much for some of it..at least it helps me to be more sensitive and aware..guess tis is wat i am looking forward to in tis new yr..learn n re-learn

my birthday wishes
1. hope to be a effective male disciple-maker even if i slowly relinquish my CL duties in the view of moving on to adults soon man..but will still take care of e nus brothers..guess it's gd in e sense tt can now be fully devoted to discipleship, dun 've to tink so much abt cg..do feel burdened and ownership over e brothers in my unit..quite encouraged when heard from benglee how they have come together to make e gifts for e sis or even for me & hongtao's birthday..how they have given their time,effort and sacrifice..thanks bros! but we must grow from here..to be more outward-looking n consistent in our walk w God as we prep for May's matric season

2. my 2nd wish is to grow oso in my emotional and spiritual well-being..God has reminded me twice tt e time ahead w'd not be an easy one whether is it finding or integrated into my job..he warned me to guard my heart attitudes..tt's quite a revelation esp e most recent one..juz before my birthday cel..hmm...guess it's only pregorative tt i take note of it n not lose sight..thus my prayers n wish is to be more God-conscious n humble wherever i am in..though no more a CL in adults but want to take e break to grow myself..n emotional oso to grow to find more joy, positivity and trusting n loving towards ppl..yup..not oil in water but part of it and re-connect w my non-hope frenz..was quite lost for words when i received no sms from my non-christian frenz..gosh..where r they?

3.experience more breakthrus which i tink it'd juz come when i seek after God and His kingdom
physical>go for AHM, full marathon and triathlon next yr! w'd be quite sthg tis yr round man esp some of e bros r going for it man..more ppl going oso
financial>hope to give my pledge to God..almost forgot abt it if not e breakthru sermon..dun noe how but God u juz lead e road for me
theatre>it'd be quite sthg taking part in tis big-scale production at kallang theatre..wow..w'd be a lot of work but sthg to look forward being used by Him..hope oso can carry on tis area be it dance,writing scripts..there can be continuation..want to film some movies for God.tis is one of my dreams
career>driving, learn Spanish and acquire financial and IT knowledge..tis is not so immediate but my stint at adults e next 6 yrs maybe? will prep me for my church planting stint be4 i turn 30..

thanks so much to u Lord for blessing me tis chance to serve u Lord..in tis nus family though a short one..reali enjoyed e past wk though not much studying..haha..again..but started liao..surrounded by such a huge cloud of like-minded bros n sis who desire to give their lives to Him..learnt tt i am juz a piece of jigsaw puzzle, no big deal abt me and comparing w other ppl,look narrowly at ppl based on wat they have achieved for Him n theri worth in Him..terrible man..tink abt my achievements n dwell in e past..found out how Gerard they all are doing oso..e laughters and sharing at essential brew..enjoyed every moment quite a contrast to last yr's..less rara..but attitudes of blessing e birthday person n giving e best still remains..

guess it's another new chapter for me..as i have a better sense of myself, my strengths n weaknesses esp at ease with weaknesses or even failing/making mistakes..not taking so hard on oneself but move forward..tink i am oso a very shy and quiet person by nature..dun dare to be open for do not noe how others w'd see me..prideful n insecure when receiving their feedback..gosh..

thank you Lord for giving me tis new self..i want to remain in you and not my past or myself..help me Lord..more breakthrus for u! : )