after xmas

after mths of rehearsal esp e past two mths..even e wk dat just past:tues,fri then e showtimes sat n sun..thx God! we had our maiden svc at kallang theatre! must say i was a bit apprehensive at first..felt e stretch esp when i juz started work n all e practice on tues night..man..can be quite hard to take at first..n there r many things yet to finalise,we had only our first practice at the theatre itself/we got it wrong the first dry run..but God is w us reali..

we prayed together as a whole team before sat's first svc..just 20mins before e doors were open to e public..can reali sense everyone's heart n commitment to want to serve Him..whether u r a performer or doing props..though there r a lot of rm for improvement being our first svc there..big scale one..we just give our best..felt wonderful to be refreshed in my heart as i joined in e praise n worship before my segment..been a while since i felt tis way..not taking glory for myself..but proud to play my part juz as other bros n sis are as well..united together,had everything in common and God performed many signs and wonders..great! seeing frenz cross the line at the end of e svc..dat's e reason for serving at least one of the core values of ours..

find myself needing a lot of faith in tis period of time for various reasons..esp when i was supposed to host right after my performance..yest's night at the Penny Black together w rueyfeng..i reali felt the physical fatigue in my heart..felt like juz telling zewei..man i dun tink i can..when i was rehearsing the cues before the start of the event, gosh..i was still not feeling natural and rather uncomfortable..after all..tis is prob my first such public performance, have to dance and host,give instructns abt the games etc..during the dinner itself, felt discouraged when seeing my cg bros seem so quiet n shy..had a stomach pain at dat time..i was reali at my wits end..e usual self of me w'd prob give in to my emotions but somehow thx God..dat did not succumb..i made a quick prayer not sure how He is gonna to help but i'd trust..n it turned out well =) at least i tried to be as natural as i can, groove n show off some dance moves w my co-host..explained the games but not veri well..tink i forgot how they r played..haha..i am glad it's all over..it's not tough as i imagine..do feel refreshed as i hosted..getting ppl to move n be spontaneous..haha..hmm..prob i going along tis E personality watever it is..can rest at last!

tink it's reali dat pt..when all the understanding abt yrself or even circumstances around fail..u reali tink it's impossible..how it can be? by human wisdom n logic..yet there is always the pt or opportunity for God to show forth His power n wisdom..

Eph 3:20, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."

i need faith and consistency and strength to believe..a kind of spiritual breakthrough..felt encouraged n excited when i discussed w my manager, a possiblity to involve Alan's company for our upcoming seminar for sports leaders..that is prob one of e veri few moments i felt that i was involved in my subD vision..so personally..other than e many mths of job search..it gave me another glimpse of wat we can do to help one another to succeed though i never expect tis to happen..frankly speaking..i am like tinking how is it possible, seemed like only a few ppl in our subD are capturing e vision of being holistic,pioneering believers in the marketplace..i rationalised it to be impossible for me..i w'd prob maintain my faith..status quo if u wanna to call it..though it's hard for me to accept cos they are like so far ahead of e rest of us but now is like..oh man..i can be the person to bring in lobang for bros n sis, having n est myself w a huge potential gp of biz contacts out there..wow..infinite possiblities..suddenly, my job became more alive, not dat it isn't so far, can cause me to be more proacitve n energetic for His kingdom!

i need faith as well for my cg..to believe dat God w'd make things work for e gd..had a difficult time w guofeng n sijia..trying to iron out our differences yet strivng to be united all tis while..it seemed to me e same issue is reoccuring again and again..got tired n frustrated though i'm glad dat there's progress that has been made..n how to get our cg bros to come of their comfort zone..to desire the things of God..not inward-looking,shy..olivious to visitors..it's a huge challenge..i need faith n love not to be judgmental and patience to believe n invest my heart in my cg..which is not easy as there r other competing priorities like work,family,other ministry commitments n possiblity of getting into a relationship..in my heart, do know and realise dat there r recurrent personal struggles dat i'd still have like my lack of openess at times/burden for ppl/tink dat ppl r not real/loneliness..

but by faith..i believe God w'd part the red sea before my veri eyes..after all dat i experienced in dec..sharing how i feel abt cg,adventure race-buidl relationship w colleagues/challenge my physical/personal limits in fear of heigh/public speaking..

reali seeing thru God's lens instead of mine..wat He wants to be instead of wat i tink i want myself to be..

though it's a mustard seed but believe dat it'd grow in the mths to come in the new year..2007 here i come!

Luke 18:27, Jesus replied,"What is impossible with men is possible with God."

some snapshots before our performance inside dressing rm

rongyao, a bro from Vibian's subD..encouraged by his teachable n supportive spirit

rongyao,myself n tabios..e animals-gazelles n giraffe u see on stage..not supposed to see us..haha