created for ?

had been a time to tink thru things..esp making sense of all that is happening around me..at work wise..it has been frenzy..more things to do..but it oso means less time for everything else..but still fulfiled..

was refreshed last sat when i joined hanyew,shawn,jiayan,tracy n shuhui for some community work..befriending some teens dat they get to noe thru a befriending network..guess it has been some time since i last get in contact w wat i learnt in sch..

remembered oso a time of prayer w one of my sheeps on mon..seemed e word for him was to give him a mustard seed of faith n trust in God pursuing along e lines of impacting,influencing ppl by his life,preaching,teaching..was personally blessed by e time..after prayer i was energized despite a long day..yr spiritual man just got woken up!

guess it's a veri gd thing to remind yrself of God's presence n magnificence once in a while..to remember dat He is much bigger than we think dat He is..must say haven't been much of a person who has a life vision to fuifil in life like alan's..though younger days did think abt it..but dun tink i had been willing or wanted to envision it..should i say much contented with where i am..it's a gd thing to see ppl pursuing God's vision for their lives but for me......hmm

at e most it was pioneering e sch campuses then dat gave me sustained excitement..literally living by e vision to see a cg in all e grounds that we gonna go into..n prob during jc days when i deliberately made myself busy by joining all kinds of cca w a personal agenda..felt veri lost esp when came over to adults..somehow some parts of me were telling me.."oh man, how can i be so on in e past in uni ministry?" seemed my convictions n values were imposed upon me without myself being sure..it's just not there or come up naturally when i started serving in adults.."sowing,meeting PLs,quiet time,talking to tis bro now..i talk to u later" all tis familar taglines dat we'd be proud to be associated w took on a different dimension altogether here..it's a understanding n refining process..

not saying dat i no longer care abt fulfiling e great commission but i guess it takes on a different meaning altogether..no one comes talking to u if u dun sow..no hq,tangible fellowship..adults ministry calls for personal ownership n commitment..varies from individual to individual..some might be just contented w where they are..some w'd try to run after God but fall along e way..

it can be a veri scary thing to stay in yr comfort zone n pretends dat everything is fine..dun have to seek so much..e leaders r doing it or be occupied by other life priorities..i wonder wat w'd God say when we r in heaven..yet it's a veri real thing esp for me..all e yrs of serving n knowing e ministry systems..it's just so predictable at times..status quo..satisfied w all e daily/regular fellowship w bros n sis..yet i find myself asking.."Am i fulfiling/noe wat i am created for?" i can't answer this now..

are we fulfiling wat God has in mind for us in e midst of all this, working towards it?

i am trying to find out n explore tis yr man..