God, help me!

wat a day..juz played tennis w tianrui..learnt a new skill today..yeah! it's a fun game but intensive..got so tired easily..ate dinnerat kfc with guanming n kenneth..all ex-ajcians..aj rules man with e exception of benaiah there..aj rules for once..haha..a break from all the tch pple n their talk..think he felt left out..all of us were talking abt ns matters..my heart juz reached out to e PLs esp. tianrui..juz had the burden to bring him to noe God..

felt veri frustrated with myself yesterday n today oso..though it was much better..thank God..i'm talking abt my studies..tried to study, get the engine going after last wk when i studied for sw2101 for 2 hrs..the only time i did any serious revising..wanted to study yesterday but my heart juz not settle down..keep on thinking of trivial matters like getting new music CDs after i got my new disc player recently..thinking abt tidying my room though it's oredi very neat..worrying abt ministry and the things to do..join hip hop dance learn jap language..argh..gosh..actually felt like working now instead of studying..prayed but seems still a big hindrance...i'm so helpless..

Noe i didn't do well for sem 2..did veri badly compared to sem 1..i was virtually mugging..my mind was juz centered on my studies n my caregroup..going to the EaSt JCs weekly..nothing else..dun even miz around with nus bros n sis..some of u should noe wat i mean..haha..sem 2-transferred to nus..now a member/shepherd..more slack..incl. results as well..phew! took econs n psych modules..miscaculated..did not think deeper/ignorant..fared badly...haiz..sw n biz fared medicrocally..did not put in full heart n soul

wat w'd sem 3 be for me? seriously i do not noe..pretty scared..kinda reminded when dai dai mentioned tt e seniors should set an eg man..struck my heart e impt of studying..reali studying...tt should be e area i ought to focus my energies on..n God's work oso..nthg else should distract me..argh..typing is so easy..it's e doing tt's e difficult part..God, help me! i certainly want to improve my CAP such tt i can get at least 3.5..tt's wat i want n it'd mean tt i have to put in more effort to bring up my avg..at least 3.8 for tis sem...gosh..to get a gd 2nd lower..the spirit is willing but the body is weak..

at least managed to study a bit juz now..read thru' NLP n coolie readings for e tutorials tis wk..1 set more to catch up..gem revising lect notes..sw 2101,3 likewise part of my plans...still want to serve God man..dun want to compromise on time reading his Word n prayer-Veri Impt!! God, help me!

was a gd thing ps vincent talked abt e warning during his sermon..reali woke up..esp e pt abt being receptive-e 1st pt..had walked w God for 3yrs n 10mths liao..felt routined at times to go for CG,svc..spirit sometimes is absent but the physical body still there..haha..got calculative at times when teaching still haven't finished esp last wk's NB CG..was so concerned abt getting home early 'cos got sch early morning..dun want to sleep late..reali need to make a deliberate attempt to look into the mirror..n not walk away..sins,struggles all committed to God..

like e new PM's speech..feel so proud to be a citizen of this tiny red dot..likes wat he says..though we r small but we have big dreams n high hopes to aim, tt we want to show to the world we can make it big..succeed despite all odds..he's juz so honest..so many sacred cows-5-day wk etc..yet he's making changes..implement e new policies despite being discussed for so long..felt belonged when he mentions abt getting youths to be involved in social work..give them wings n develop their potential to the fullest..was so glad tt he used egs of neighbourhood schs who came up w new ideas to make e sch a better place..better than hearing e ususal reports abt e top schs all e time..realli felt tt i 've sthg to give e next few yrs down e road..my passion is working w youths..so energetic n full of ambition..want to do my small part in making s'pore succeed in tis 3rd lap! : ) it's our vulnerabilities tt make us succeed, not to be complacent..so easy to be comfy..but life should be a learning journey..thirst for knowledge,receptive to new ideas,taking new intiatives should be there..
tt's wat makes life worth living for much more..than to be mundane,ordinary,lifeless..Only one life and soon it'd pass only wat's done for Christ w'd last! :)